When it comes to “toasting” a bride & groom I have seen many things I would never consider doing myself. In my world that’s usually a pretty good rule of thumb to go by.
Many years ago the act of toasting was simple, easy going, happy and quick! The best man would stand up before dinner and say, “Let’s toast Jim & Carla on the happiest day of their lives!” the best man then raised his glass in honor and it was over. Lightning fast. Usually the crowd shouted “here, here” and that was it, nothing more. (for more on this simply watch any movie featuring a wedding from the 1930’s)
In the 21st century the act of toasting has expanded into performance art.
The buzzword is “speech” but a toast is not supposed to be a speech, like “4 score and 7 years ago.” Webster’s defines a toast as, “a salutation or a few words of congratulation, good wishes, appreciation, remembrance, uttered immediately before drinking to a person or event.”
Last year I entertained at a wedding where the best man couldn’t even stand up straight. He flubbed the toast, all the while crying over HIS misspent youth.
I witnessed a maid of honor cursing during a toast in front of children and family members. Another by the father of the bride took over 30 minutes to recite and dinner service was delayed 45 minutes to courteously give him the floor.
You get the idea.
Needless to say it was quite a bad year for wedding toasts. A few understood what was expected of them and the rest did not.
Here are a few things a toast can be; humorous, short and to the point but 2 to 3 minutes maximum, lighthearted and respectful of others.
Here are a few things to keep in mind; when you are assigning best man and maid of honor privileges talk with them about the toasts. Tell them YOUR wishes. Make sure there is no profanity. Keep stories to a minimum. Don’t over imbibe in alcohol before the toast is delivered. Write it down and rehearse it a few times if need be. Do not recall past relationships or bad memories. Above all just keep it classy.
I would think since most humans are afraid of public speaking, and would rather jump off a cliff or encounter a wild mountain lion in their back yard the idea of a short toast may come as relief to your maid of honor and best man.